Once upon a time, I used to shop for shoes.
It's been one of those weeks. I won't lie. One of those woe-is-me-what-the-crap-was-I-thinking-having-kids-type of weeks. One of those completely mislead I-could-be-an-up-and-coming-designer-in-NYC-but-I-went-for-my-MRS-degree, I chose desperate housewives suburbia heaven and I'm-freaking-lousy-at-it-kind-of-weeks. {Hey, I said mislead. Let me dream!}
Then, after that realization, another wave of Oh-my-lord-please-save-me-I'm-about-to-have-another-baby-I-will probably-leave-attached-to-the-car-Griswald-style-because-I-now-officially-have-more-than-I-know-what-to-do-with, kind of panic attack. Because you know. It totally compliments that kind of week.
I've cleaned up vomit, atrociously dirty diapers, lysoled the house continually from a strep throat infestation, and then cried/laughed like a lunatic when I realized today I haven't left the house since SUNDAY, and my poor husband who I have snapped at repeatedly, mentioned "You've been little moody lately."
"It's SOOO HARD!" I wailed in a classic guilt laden response. REALLY? YA THINK!??? {It's a miracle he's still married to me-BLESS him.}
I've bargained with Emerson who currenly has a death grip on my arm to let me put her down. For a second. Without a high pitched scream. A REPEATEDLY high pitched scream. The kid's a banshee.
I've perused the Martha Stewart site for new craft ideas in my short breaks. My version of letting lose and keeping my finger firm on the pulse of society.
My perspective on reality, to say the least, is a bit skewed.
SUNDAY, people!
I gave Aiden five spankings alone, in a row yesterday (my strong willed child-yes, we spank when warranted-lets get past it, shall we?) he had an option to sit on the couch for time out for shoving his sister (twice) and he said no. So I spanked him. He had a choice. He says no a bit much. (read: all the time)
He then said NO again. Spank. NO! spank. NO! spank. SERIOUSLY? I'm not talking about little spanks here. I was going for the gusto to make my point, and my hand was hurting. Skin to skin. Red bootay. I then gave up, because of course I started to feel bad. It obviously wasn't working. I picked him up off the floor (still screaming NOOOO!) and PITCHED HIM onto the couch (non child abuse with a neck fracture style). He stayed until I had a peaceful conversation with him later regarding the use of the word no and shoving his sister.
When all was calm, I heard munching coming from the laundry room. Munching. Emerson. Dog food. Multiple peices. Chewing. I let her, until she decided she was ready to spit it out.
It's been one of those weeks.
And then today I got a flyer in the mail from Piper Lime, to top it all off. You know Piper Lime. That cute lil optimistically overpriced shoe company the owners of Gap/BR/& Old Navy have launched. And I realized, while looking at said flyer and therefore plummeting deeper into my own woe-is-me-I-suck-at-life-state, that I couldn't tell you what shoes were in style if you PAID me a million on the spot. The only reason I saw was because they sent a FLYER in the mail. To my house.
I used to shop for shoes. A-la-Carrie style. All the time. I was a shoe museum. And I can't tell you the last pair I bought. Maybe a pair of boots last fall? I don't care who you are. That's pretty bad. And I find myself resenting people who still shop Carrie style. Guess you can say my priorities have changed. Ever so resentfully.
So I'm writing on my usual blogging day to let you know I have nothing to write about, other than how out of touch with the real world I am. Sometimes {read: MOST OF THE TIME} being a mom sucks. {kidding} Sometimes being a wife does too. And life. Did I mention life can suck? But that doesn't mean I don't love it. It just means I'm a little overwhelmed with hormones, lack of Zoloft in my system, and surges of disparity at my dwindling supply of dusty shoes shoved in my closet because I am once again having a who the heck is going to don THOSE heels while balancing THREE CHILDREN kind of moment. And what that symbolically means I have become. Am I a dusty old shoe?
It's been the kind of week to send the most stable of women into yet another identity crisis, just when I thought I had it all figured out.
I usually regard myself as stable.
I'm not very eloquent today. {when am I ever?} This is the part where you chime in and make me feel better. Love you all. Have a great weekend. I'm going to soup up on some caffeine so I can get my nasty house clean, AFTER I put the crying babes to bed.
{No. I won't throw them in there...}
Supa Blogga Supreme Mama
in family, misery, shoes, sucking at life, woe is me
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Reader Comments (17)
Thanks so much for the laugh. I needed it. It's been one of those weeks for me as well. I spent all day at the hospital with 2 of my 3 kids (eveyone is fine) when I should be cleaning my house because someone is coming to look at it tomorrow to see if they want to rent it. All of this while planning a move to France in 8 weeks! My adage is "What doesn't kill us makes us stonger." Right? Here's to a better weekend...
Amen Amy! what happened? Are ya'll okay? and FRANCE? must say...kinda jealous!!! perhaps you can visit a few flea markets for me over there and ill pay you back!!! ;)
Oh you poor thing. I hate those days. The only good thing about them is that they make great blog fodder. Your misery is providing great entertainment for others....keep up the good work! Seriously though, take a benadryl, a hot bath and grab a good book. You deserve it, after all, you are growing an entire human being!
I have to wait until June to find out what I am having. I do not have the will power that you do. Think pink!!
I have to say, this post made me reveal myself and say that we have all been there. I only have one child and I have those days...often...so I can't imagine 2 and one on the way. My closet is full of great work clothes because I could afford to shop then. Now...sahm style is what I'm sporting. It's depressing. I long for Stacey and Clinton to show up at my house just for the new wardrobe. Who cares about the embarrasment of my current, not to mention awful, style. Hang in there and know we are all there with you!
I so enjoy reading your blog. I've been keeping up with it for a while. I can't remember how I found it. Some connection to AU, I'm sure. btw, I went to AU same time as Jamin and probably overlapped with you some but I wasn't involved much at the acsc my last couple of years there due to architecture school.
Oh dear. I e-mailed you this week to see how you have been doing, and the irony is, "how you are doing" is probably why I haven't heard back. I'm so sorry you're having a bad week! If there is anything I can do for you next week, let me know! Seriously. You need a break. Get Jamin to watch the kids so you can go get a pedi or a massage or something. Bless you. I've been praying for you!! Love you!
Ummm, you felt bad after only five pops to his bottom?? I usually have to hit double digits before guilt kicks in. Especially if they're not getting my point and continuing their mess. :-) Just kidding. Don't report me to DHR. Besides, it's usually eight. Kidding again. Hang in there. It does get better. And dog food never hurt anyone. My kids have had tons of it over time and they seem to be okay. "seem to be" is the key phrase here. Love you.
Bless your heart!
I think "one of those weeks" is going around--been quite a doozy here, too. Thanks for being so honest about yours! I hope life looks a little brighter soon!
Sounds nuts, but this was so encouraging for me! I needed to know someone else was going insane this week. And don't you hate those "I could've been the CEO of something other than my house but I chose to be a meager houseslave because of the fulfillment I get from doing menial chores that any 6th grader could do just as well...yeah, glad I got that master's degree cause it's paying off now" thoughts? I need one of the Duggers to come tell me how joyous it is to the Lord for the woman to be the godess of all things domestic...maybe one day I'll believe that crap.
Oh BLESS YOU! I can imagine ~ No really I can't! My two keep me so busy I couldn't imagine growing another one while handling them too! I really will pray you have a better weekend than this past week! Do get Jamin to watch the rug-rats and take some time to do whatever you feel like! Drive to the beach. Raid a shoe store. Have a spa day. Something. We need things like that! You'll go crazy w/out them! I'm thinking of a spa day myself! :) Thanks for the post. It makes me realize I am just one of many Moms who are not all June Cleavers = happy to serve, wipe, clean, cook, create, and everything else we're asked to do - all the time.
Wow... thanks, I'm feeling better about my week now. Hey! At least he knows his left from his right! DARNIT, Ashley, I told you to keep my genius child illusion alive!!!
I don't know if it'll make you feel better but I will say: I only knew you before from one youth ministry conference hang out. So, not so well. But after following you on your blog a while, I feel like I know you much better. I'm pretty sure that I enjoy hearing more about your life now than I would have about your shoe shopping then. Seriously, I think the world needs to hear a lot more moms saying, "some days are hard". And at least for those like us that admit we can't do it perfectly, we can sit back and relax because the pressure is off. And we might just watch (a little amusingly) while others realize that they can't either. I'm sure your shoes were great but I hardly doubt that they compare to the beautiful person that having children has made you. And besides (looking at the picture below) a pregnant girl that still has painted toenails should skip the shoes to show that skill off!
OK... Dana sold me on the little clippie from the pictures on her blog. I will admit I have looked longinly at them on your etsy site more than once. I now MUST have one for my poor childs ever growing hair. Anyway I can send some cash with Laura and get one? That would be fast and easier than shipping.
Jan-if you would like, I usually prefer to do listings on my etsy site-I can do whatever bows you are interested in, and create a custom listing for you so you don't have to pay shipping, and I can pass them off to someone so you don't have to pay shipping-let me know! Thanks for your interest!
Dana-thanks so much for the sweet comment. It made me tear up. I'm a bit uhhhh emotional nowadays ;)
Melissa-thanks for reading! LOVE the stacey and clinton ref. I feel the saaaaame way.
Sounds good. I will check the site and probably order tomorrow.
here he is : jean-paul ney
good morning people
my dad recently ran into a website. the store is offering wide variety of well priced italian clothing. the shop is selling the items with almost 85% savings. I really liked to purchase a pair before the vacation but not sure that order is going to be delivered in right on time. I am thinking to purchase those gucci shoes but not sure yet.
just urged to share with you fellas.
thank you everyone.