1. Dear Zofran,
Thank you for coming to the rescue when I needed you the most. For making it possible for me to morph from the horrid couch lounging toilet clinging monstrosity I have become so that I may care for the other two children I call myself the mother of. With Aiden, I put my hand to my forehead in fainting mode and dutifully proclaimed that I could brave my way through the suffering.
I even lost my gutteral integrity in public places, but I bravely pressed on. Brainwashed by the older generation that medicinal suppression is bad, and that I must go au naturale with the nausea, I choked down crackers and pop tarts until I thought I may become one. {side story: Jamin and I were on a trip with the youth, when the Jr High boys repeatedly kept letting wind in the back seat. It was absolutely disgusting. I was nauseated and on my last delicate thread holding me back from a the relief that purging does bring, when I smelled those boys and their foul emissions one last time. "Who ever farts next," I growled, hurling myself from the front seat so that the young offspring with fading smiles and now horrified faces could catch the evil gleam in my eye, "I will promptly rip out your buttholes and feed them to you!"I then asked Jamin to pull over on the side of the road so I could cleanse myself of the bad Taco Bell I had just eaten.} Yeah. It was rough. I was hardcore. And those boys, who have now graduated, still remind me of that night.
Fast forward to Emerson: still braving it. Me=bad mom to Aiden. Movies and candy galore. Fast forward again: Third baby= Just. Not. Possible. I must pop a pill in order to care for my family. Yes, I have been brainwashed into thinking my baby may be born with two heads, and yes, I am a bit edgy on the subject, but I have to survive. So, with all of those disgusting descriptions, I say, thank you, Zofran, for your life saving abilities, because nausea and vomiting are easily classified under the worst feelings in the world.
2. Dear Lost,
You officially suck. I have gestated an entire baby {Emerson} in between the last two seasons. You were gone for that long. I officially have no more emotional attachments to any of these characters. I have cooked my way 1/3 through another, and that is only because I didn't start where you left off. Otherwise I could have two whole bouncing babes on my knee to watch with me before Kate decided to show her face again and moan over losing Jack and keeping Aaron. Is it just me, or has Sawyer put on a little weight? No wonder he wanted to put a shirt on the entire epi. He was all, dude. Too much Christmas Turkey. Throw me that shirt, and write it in somewhere.
If I have to spend this entire season waiting to see these people JUST get back on the island, ALL so I can twiddle my fingers another nine months until the writers decide to come up with some random explanation for polar bears and every other ill thought out plot for smoke monsters and swooping pterodactyls they will never address, you will RIP on my TIVO for the rest of eternity. Tying in too many lose ends is just old at this point. I mean seriously.
That is my last warning.
3. And all because I have to have an odd number or else I may feel off...I'm having name issues with this third child and the name game. I thought Aiden was so unique when I chose it and (surprise!) now everyone either has it or rhymes. I love his name BUT I resent its number one stance for three years in a row on every website I come across. Emerson was different, and I love it. But that was it. My limit. I'm fresh out. How on earth does that lady with bad hair and twenty kids in Utah keep coming up with names?
I have a name, but I hate sharing it, because I get a polite "oh" from people. The only people who love it are my relatives. {duh-family name-which I have steered clear of thus far due to the overwhelming plethora of immense let downs: Talitha, Lester, Edwina...YEAH.} That's why I'm not sharing anymore. Why should I name my child based on people's reactions? Or should one do just that, for feedback's sake? You want your child to feel normal. Not completely out of place. The reactions people give are completely relevant to how the world may perceive them.
Branded for the rest of their life! Let's put it this way: I was resentful growing up because I and all my bff's could basically form a cool kid Ashley club out on the Valley Elementary playground. Coming in second place only to Jennifer. Whoop. Whoop. That, and our My Little Pony's with wings club, and we were set. On the other hand, if Jamin hears Jammin associated with his name one last time, he may choke someone. So I'm a little opinionated on this subject.
HELP. Should I share? Or NOT????