...The Darndest Things
Yesterday morning, the sun was shining, the sky was clear, and church goers everywhere were migrating from the parking lots into the buildings where classes and services were held.
I was doing that very thing, a bit harried from the morning's activities with my temporary gig as a single mom. Emerson in one arm, and Aiden grasping my hand, I was quite proud of myself that we were even dressed, much less on time. We were hauling it to the side door as I was determined to make it to Sunday school. We passed the greeter in the parking lot, and he responded to us with a friendly "Good morning!" as he always does. After responding myself, I asked Aiden, who was currently staring intently at the ground to keep up with my pace, "Can you say good morning, Aiden?"
Aiden, glanced up as if suddenly aware of his surroundings, and much to my utmost horror, pointed at the man as if seeing a novelty for the very first time.
The greeter was right beside us.
We were the only ones within earshot.
At first I didn't understand what Aiden was saying. So I kept asking him. Smart. Out of frustration, Aiden grew more excited, as if determined to make me understand what he was saying. Over and over and over again, until his little words it became more and more discernable.
"It's a black man, mommy! It's a black man!" He replied, excited.
Okay. Pause. I did NOT teach my child this. I was mortified that he would point out any race, just as much as I would hate it if he pointed to someone with any kind of difference. Aiden has no prejudices. I just didn't want what he was saying to be perceived as rude. Children are geared that way. I strive not to use the word "fat" in description of someone else, as well as myself, much less point out races to him. He was merely observing that this man, was, in fact, a different color than us. Did they sing "Jesus Loves the Little Children" in sunday school and he made the natural assumption? That song should be banned.
And I wanted to crawl into the drainage ditch and die. Right there.
At first, I thought that was surely NOT what he could be saying. And then as the realization slowly crept to my conscience, I tried to play it off, while we kept walking. This made me look dumber:
"What? It's a fireman?"
This only made Aiden more irate. "NO, mommy! A BLACK man!" The greeter smiled politely and continued on, while I wished my child came with a mute button.
What was I supposed to do? Lean over and gently correct him with the term "African American?" Talk about a tongue twister. "Yes, Aiden, and you are white," is what I should have said. Way to be on your toes, mommy. Looking back now, I'm kind of proud that Aiden is observant enough to notice differences.
Aiden spotted a wheelchair at church the other day, and I caught him staring at it, in awe of what I am sure he thought was some elite racing mechanism. I can't wait to see what he comes up with for that one.
I just wish he wouldn't point out loud and scream excitedly like some sheltered white kid in the parking lot, making me look like Hitler's grand daughter in the process.
Supa Blogga Supreme Mama
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Reader Comments (16)
well, those kiddies and their mouths. i cannot wait to see or hear, i guess, what my two will come up with. right now it is just the incessant chanting of the word ball, interspersed with dog every so often. i am almost looking forward to the variety that comes with real speech
oh, the last, post...you have some crazy shit that goes down in your sphere, girl. glad everyone was alright. your hubby sounds like a very good man, to keep the peace as he did. whew.
This reminds me of three things:
1. My little brother looking at my obese uncle and saying, "Uncle Bill, you sure are fat." Uncle Bill replied, "Why yes I am."
2. My Aiden, 4 years old at the time, hanging out with me and two of my friends, says to one of them, "Kelly, you are REAL fat." Yes, he actually placed the emphasis on the "real." Kelly replied in a very sarcastic tone, "Thanks a lot." Come on, he's only 4!!!???? And, for pete's sake, she was real fat!
3. Me, as a 3 or 4 year old, riding in the buggy in the grocery store saying to my mother as I pointed, "That lady right there, in the red hat, she's really ugly."
Fatness is fairly easy to distinguish, there are varying degrees, but ugly, now that's quite subjective.
Being completely mortified is one of the many gifts that God gives us as parents. I think it teaches humility (that or humiliation!) My heart goes out to you! Your only hope is to never attend church again for fear of running into that man again! OK, maybe not.....
I know that you were probably really embarrassed by that! At school, Joshua has several little friends that are a different race. One day on the way to school last year, he was asking me if he could play basketball with the brown boys. I got really tickled with that one.
And the wheelchair.... Abby Kate is TOTALLY fascinated with those. Anytime we see one, she has to ask all of her questions to the person sitting in the wheelchair. I just always bow my head in humiliation while dragging her away.
That is too funny!! Kids do just say whatever they are thinking. A couple months ago while shopping I was walking down an aisle and a mother and her 3 year old daughter (I'm guessing she was 3) were walking toward me and as they were passing the girl told her mom she just didnt like me. Now being the mature, evil adult I am I waited till her mom had past me and turn back to find the girl still looking at me and I just couldnt resist...I had to stick my tongue out at her. :)
I guess it doesn't take but a couple of days for kids to pick up things from their peers... Aiden must have heard that from a kid at pre-school. I'm sure he didn't learn it from you!
Ok I'm laughing out loud because what in the world do you do in a situation like that? I know this happens all the time and I'm sure many more similar stories will be shared but what is the appropriate answer? I'm glad you can figure all this out and let me know before I'm in that situation.
Cute!! I have luckily escaped that kind of "confession" so far. But my Mother was not quite so lucky with my brother. A couple of incidents at the grocery store embarrassed her quite thoroughly. Luke, sitting in the top part of the buggy, no doubt around 3 years old, and staring in shock, as if he had never seen anyone but the white people surrounding him, said "Mama! That man is Blaaaaaack!". Luckily the man smiled and went on, while my mother was no longer "white" but red! Another incident that still cracks me up is when he informed another man in the line at the grocery store that, "You's got hairs in you's nose."!
Ashley, that is soooo funny! I laughed out loud! When my sister-in-law and brother-in-law were expecting their second, their daughter curiously asked if they thought the baby would come out brown or white. We have another neice (about my age) who had recently had a brown baby. It was an honest question. I think my neices still refer to their "African American" friends as brown. I think it's so cute.
It wasn't so long ago that I cringed through, "Look, Mommy! That man only has one leg!"
That's hilarious! "What? A fireman?" That was great!
One time when we were little, Mark pointed to someone at the mall & yelled, "Mommy, she has big hair!!" :-)
Nice. Thankfully, he wasn't a FAT black man. What you SHOULD have said is "Yes, son, that is Montel. This is his church vest."
hahaha! He DOES look like Montel!
That is too funny! Sounds like the guy was cool about it, though!
I'm new to your blog and lovin' it! I have a 2.5 yr old daughter. She's definitely in a similar descriptive phase. She has been banned from using the word fat after a few incidents. On one said incident she and I were at Old Navy she said, "Mom look at THAT boy, He's... FAT!" Great insulting a child! Now she goes through we don't say fat to people, but we can call bunnies (or any other animal) fat, right mom. And the other day in a grocery store parking lot she said while looking directly at an overweight woman, "I'm not going to say fat, mom." Luckily, the lady wasn't within earshot. She also has used the term "gray-faced" to describe anyone in the brown/black pigmented range. Not sure where that came from? She now says brown. I'm just glad she's got her neutrals figured out. Funny stuff. I think I'll have to blog about this.
At a ballgame last week Liam (2) looked at the big man sitting 3 INCHES behind me in the bleachers and asked very loudly, innocently, and clearly (even with a passie in) "Big Giant?" I was mortified, because he was, in fact, a Big Giant. His wife laughed loudly and repeated it to those around us, while I mouthed to
Liam sternly, "NO." So when everyone else quit laughing, he took his passie out of his mouth to clarify, for the record, "NOT Big Giant??"