Six days since my last post? That's like an eternity for me.
I've been completely discombobulated. Utterly thrown off course into a world of tail spin ever since we took that prego test and it gave me a positive. A POSITIVE!? I'm still reeling. But today I finally got in to see the good doc, and the blessed man granted us an ultrasound. Up until now, this whole third baby thing has seemed surreal. I refuse to answer questions posed as "how will you survive? What will you do?" As if a tsunami hit our home and we lost everything. (Should I be reacting that way?) One day at a time, random, well-meaning people I greet on a day to day basis. I know things look grim with one child throwing a tantrum on the floor, and the other reeling backwards in my arms, both of their synchronized screams echoing off my numbed ear drums. And to top it all off both=technically still in diapers. One day at a time. Or else I may need a small paper bag to assist me in breathing exercises.
I keep thinking this is all a dream. I had seriously talked myself into the hard, cold fact, that this very well could be a tumor implanted in my uterus, giving me a false positive and all the symptoms of a pregnancy. So, today, when I heard the heart beat, saw those little chambers just beating away, and the little fuzzy outline of a sweet baby well on its way into development, it was quite a relief. Sheer joy. A true blessing.
I would post pics on here, but let's face it. No one will know what it looks like. Close your eyes. Picture a piece of lint in your belly button. Bingo! You have Mills no. 3. I'm too lazy/exhausted to get up and go scan it into the computer. Perhaps later this week when I feel up to it. I really can't do the "I can't see it..." stuff. No energy to explain.
Emerson is now crawling. She had been doing this odd pivot/backwards scoot thing for a month now, where she achieves what she needs and then recedes to her previous spot. And now, just in time for some Christmas tree obliverating fun, she is my little speed demon. I didn't baby proof with Aiden. I never had to. He simply stayed away from things as I expected him to. And let's face it...corner protectors are ugly. We recently purchased a tv, and she can't seem to stay away from all things dangerous regarding cords..I'm doomed. Right down to the toilet hinge which prohibits you from lifting the lid. Which brings me to...
I used to be a holier than thou no t.v. in the bedroom kinda gal. "The bedroom is a sanctimonious location," said I. No t.v.'s for us. "Go, OPRAH!" I would say, every time she harped on this subject matter. That was because for the first 6.5 years of marriage, we only had one t.v. With the purchase of this new one, we have moved oldie into the bedroom. It's the only appropriate space in our home.
Enter sheer bliss. I have repented of my ways. Oh the wonderful luxury of lying in my bed at night, after the children have scampered into lala land. Let's face it. All shows are better propped on your pillow and fluffed atop your mattress. I will have to google studies regarding the direct correlation between obesity and television sets in bedrooms. I am quite sure there has to be a relationship. Oh, bedroom tv, where have you been all my life!!! Oh, and trust me. Our marriage is fine. Thus the third child. This t.v. might be right up our birth control alley.
And those are my most recent, blog-suppressed thoughts. Back from my discombobulated hiatus. And to all a good night.
Supa Blogga Supreme Mama
I didn't realize Jamin took a pic yesterday with his iphone. Yay! Here ya go. Let the I can't see it comments begin. Really. It's okay. I wouldn't be able to either if I hadn't had 6 of these by now.
And since I was stealing pics from Jamin (as he so often does from me) this is just funny. Aiden + Jamin at the McWane Center over Thanksgiving...
