Tail Spin
Six days since my last post? That's like an eternity for me.
I've been completely discombobulated. Utterly thrown off course into a world of tail spin ever since we took that prego test and it gave me a positive. A POSITIVE!? I'm still reeling. But today I finally got in to see the good doc, and the blessed man granted us an ultrasound. Up until now, this whole third baby thing has seemed surreal. I refuse to answer questions posed as "how will you survive? What will you do?" As if a tsunami hit our home and we lost everything. (Should I be reacting that way?) One day at a time, random, well-meaning people I greet on a day to day basis. I know things look grim with one child throwing a tantrum on the floor, and the other reeling backwards in my arms, both of their synchronized screams echoing off my numbed ear drums. And to top it all off both=technically still in diapers. One day at a time. Or else I may need a small paper bag to assist me in breathing exercises.
I keep thinking this is all a dream. I had seriously talked myself into the hard, cold fact, that this very well could be a tumor implanted in my uterus, giving me a false positive and all the symptoms of a pregnancy. So, today, when I heard the heart beat, saw those little chambers just beating away, and the little fuzzy outline of a sweet baby well on its way into development, it was quite a relief. Sheer joy. A true blessing.
I would post pics on here, but let's face it. No one will know what it looks like. Close your eyes. Picture a piece of lint in your belly button. Bingo! You have Mills no. 3. I'm too lazy/exhausted to get up and go scan it into the computer. Perhaps later this week when I feel up to it. I really can't do the "I can't see it..." stuff. No energy to explain.
Emerson is now crawling. She had been doing this odd pivot/backwards scoot thing for a month now, where she achieves what she needs and then recedes to her previous spot. And now, just in time for some Christmas tree obliverating fun, she is my little speed demon. I didn't baby proof with Aiden. I never had to. He simply stayed away from things as I expected him to. And let's face it...corner protectors are ugly. We recently purchased a tv, and she can't seem to stay away from all things dangerous regarding cords..I'm doomed. Right down to the toilet hinge which prohibits you from lifting the lid. Which brings me to...
I used to be a holier than thou no t.v. in the bedroom kinda gal. "The bedroom is a sanctimonious location," said I. No t.v.'s for us. "Go, OPRAH!" I would say, every time she harped on this subject matter. That was because for the first 6.5 years of marriage, we only had one t.v. With the purchase of this new one, we have moved oldie into the bedroom. It's the only appropriate space in our home.
Enter sheer bliss. I have repented of my ways. Oh the wonderful luxury of lying in my bed at night, after the children have scampered into lala land. Let's face it. All shows are better propped on your pillow and fluffed atop your mattress. I will have to google studies regarding the direct correlation between obesity and television sets in bedrooms. I am quite sure there has to be a relationship. Oh, bedroom tv, where have you been all my life!!! Oh, and trust me. Our marriage is fine. Thus the third child. This t.v. might be right up our birth control alley.
And those are my most recent, blog-suppressed thoughts. Back from my discombobulated hiatus. And to all a good night.
Supa Blogga Supreme Mama
I didn't realize Jamin took a pic yesterday with his iphone. Yay! Here ya go. Let the I can't see it comments begin. Really. It's okay. I wouldn't be able to either if I hadn't had 6 of these by now.
And since I was stealing pics from Jamin (as he so often does from me) this is just funny. Aiden + Jamin at the McWane Center over Thanksgiving...
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Already saw the pic of #3 on Jamin's FB... (s)he's a beaut! Okay, so this is probably more appropriate for e-mail correspondence, but unexpected pregnancies always beg the question - what form of birth control failed you??? I'm off birth control (while not pregnant or wanting to be) for the first time in our entire marriage. I'm really hoping that the method that my OB so euphemistically refers to as "backup" isn't 100% unreliable. Anywho, it's impossible to feel anything but joy when listening to the amazing shwooshee-shwooshee-shwooshee of a tiny hearbeat! So excited for you!
That is so funny about the TV. We just put one in our room two days ago. Mine is for worse reason than yours. I have moved my computer to my bedroom and that way, I can sit Chloe on my bed to watch TV while I get work done. Btw, did that comment make you think of your dog sitting on my bed watching television. I know several people with dogs that have the same names as my children..
As far as adding a third child, years ago, people had more children to help with the chores. If you could just train one to cook, one to clean and one to do the laundry, you'd be set!
Hannah-I really don't mind answering this on blog, though it may be a bit cryptic. ;) I wanted to "explain" myself but figured it was a bit tmi. ;) birth control. but was forgetting since I've been preggers for the last year of my life. So when I forgot, used backup. I was on my way to talk to the doc about Mirena, literally calling to make an appointment, until I "gave Jamin the go ahead" to get his "snip snip." forgot birth control pill. forgot backup. = oops.
Here's the thing. I was breast feeding. No cycle. No clue. SO, since this baby was technically conceived on birth control WITH breast feeding, my progesterone levels may be low, which gives me a greater case for, some issues. But according to the ultrasound yesterday everything looked good. Pray for baby no. 3! I'm a bit jumpy regarding this topic.
But, here is your ray of hope, Aiden WAS a back up baby. oh well. oh well. Jamin says anyone who hasn't had the surgery is therefore trying. The playing with matches kind of mantra. haha. Emerson, is technically, our only planned baby.
Dana-No. I knew you were talking about your baby. Sorry I have a dog named Chloe. It was before we had children, and I loved that name so much! So, I guess its a compliment. haha.
I'm one of THREE, and my Mom is sane (somewhat). You'll be fine. I've thought about having just ONE more. But my luck, I'd have TWO or THREE more at once. So I'm not. The chances are like double that I would have twins again. I cannot go there again! :)
I am doing pretty darn good, thanks for asking. I got the okay today to get rid of the crutches, and I no longer have to sleep in my Robokate brace (which means I can now snuggle with hubby.)
How are you feeling? Do you have a bad case of the "hurl-at-randoms?" I am so happy for you guys; I am kind of in the longing for 3 mode now.....
BTW: Isaac was an "switching birth controls, I can't get pregnant at this time in my cycle anyway so we are safe and don't need any back-up" baby. Turns out I don't actually know how to count. Thank you God for that moment of stupidity!!
Looks like Doppler radar...
I can't believe you put a TV in your bedroom!!! :-)
I'll admit - it was nice when we had one. But I guess it makes more sense now for us to have our 2nd in the study.
I can't believe your baby already looks like a blob! This process still amazes me, even after seeing umpteen "blob" photos. :-)
Well, clearly, I'm out of the loop! I saw your status on facebook and was surprised to hear about #3! I've started back to work, so I don't keep up with the blog world like I used to! Congratulations on the new addition! I am a July baby, and so is Macy, so I think it's a good month for a baby! Good luck with everything! I'll have to try to keep up a little better!
Hmmmm... very imformative. My doc didn't even give me the mini-pill as an option during my 6-week checkup after Wes. I had to ask about it, and he flat out said no, because he said it's not effective and gives moms a false sense of security. I asked if it was more effective than nothing at all, and he said yes. I struck a deal with him that if he prescribed it for me, I would not get upset if I got pregnant. Honestly, with Wesley I could have gotten pregnant the very next day and been overjoyed. He was an easy baby, and we were craving another one from the get-go. Anna Kate has been harder, so I would have been slightly devastated if I had gotten pregnant soon after her birth. But honestly I've always been open to another pregnancy, and have never ruled it out as a possibility since I don't trust birth control. Actually, there's just something so depressing about taking a pregnancy test and getting a negative... I always get a little blue, even if it's like 3 months after I had the last baby. Deep down, I'm just a baby-craver. They are pure joy. Gotta say I'm a little jealous.
I like Jamin and Aiden's ultrasound most! Raising three certainly adds a dimension to your perception of parenting.
I thought of you today while eating nachos. Seriously, you are going to be FINE! It's like Bert says, "Sometimes when you mess with the bull... you get the horns." For real, come hang out with us some and you'll see, life is so much fun with a bunch of kiddos. We wouldn't have it any other way.
What a sweet babe. You will be a rockstar mom of three. I am confident! And one day, when we enter the land of 3, I will look to your for inspiration and advice.
Ashley as much as I have laughed at you about having 3 kids, I know your going to continue to be an amazing mom. God doesn't give us anymore than we can handle, right? I'm certain in a few months you will have grand stories about life with 3 kids to keep me well entertained. :)
I don't know you, but read your blog sometimes...link to it through Sunny's. Just had to say that I love it. You totally crack me up. And your post is a reminder why I got to Mirena quickly after #2, although secretly I'm already longing for #3!
So glad you got an ultrasound.. hopefully you feel a bit more "relieved"? Karen asked me a few weeks ago when I'd have mine... to which I replied, "I dunno, January I guess?" She laughed hysterically and said "You're not supposed to be this non-chalant about it until it's your 4th or 5th child!" Here's to hoping THAT never happens, to you or me! :)
I so wish I had the courage to tell you about the first 6 months of being pregnant with Shayla. But I can't b/c I know what people would say and how they would judge me. Blessings to you as you take it one day at a time.
Congratulations, from a Dad of three. Really enjoy your writing style, too.
I was going to say something about #3 but I'm totally distracted now by that last picture. Don't you know how many germs are on that thing?!? I cannot believe Jamin put his face on it. Gag. From one germaphobic mommy to another...
And all too soon they grow up...I won't say "lucky you" because I know you don't feel that way...but lucky you it wasn't a tumor in your uterus...congrats on Post of the Day mention...and darn it all, LUCKY YOU!!!
Sandi
Those ultrasound photos never cease to amaze me - a real live little human being. Gosh!
Our eldest daughter saw the first scan of her sister at 8 weeks and announced to her friends that Mummy wasn't having a baby at all - she was having a bean. And that little sister has been Bean ever since...now galloping into her mid twenties!