I Made it Through the Wilderness....Somehow I Made it Through....
Last night in our Jr. High girl's class, we were playing a version of Who's Line is it Anyway, regarding dating. The topic was embarrassing things your father can say to a date. This little jewel of a story came to mind, and I thought I would share with you.
Humiliating moment no. 5554:
I was living in Auburn. I think it was in between my Sophomore and Junior year in college. I had been there for the summer, and I was getting ready to move to a new place my roommate's parents had recently purchased. In the meantime, however slightly ghetto is was, we had resided in an apartment complex that was once considered the "it" place to live amongst our friends. It didn't matter that mildew seeped through the walls, or that the threadbare navy blue carpet still existed, filthy since the early 80's. Or that my parents had questioned its safety every time the train rattled through right beside the back windows. Everyone knew everyone in the three story Complex. The place, was, admittedly, in its final days, but we were determined to live there anyway. We thought we were so cool.
Jamin lived right above me, as well as a few other friends, on the top floor. I had begun dating him my sophomore year, and we were still together, after a brief stint of not-so-much, that merely lasted a few weeks. (We were over it quite quickly, though looking back, I realized I should have made him suffer longer. What???)
In the process of packing and unpacking, my parents came down, and I remember they spent the weekend, helping me clear some things out, as well as bringing me a drafting table that I could work on, as my major was becoming quite demanding for work space. My roommates probably still hate me to this day, as I was constantly making some giant sculpture, painting in the kitchen, or cutting jibblets of paper on the counters for my next project. I was finally getting a room of my own, even if it was the size of a small walk in closet. Needless to say, I needed a little more space to work. I was back at the old apartment, I think getting ready to clean or something, and my parents were leaving, as they were living in Florida at the time and they had to get back. While they were there, my always well meaning father gave me a brief speech regarding purity and how I should remain so until marriage. AAAWWWWKKKWWWWWAAAARRRDDDD.
Yeah. Looking back now, no matter how humiliating it was, I realize it was probably good for me to hear such things coming from the male role model in my life. I really had no option but to suck it up and listen, anyway.
So, my parents were in their car, pulling out of the driveway. Since everyone lived in this complex, there were a crowd of our friends on the lawn, playing football. Most of them guys, and one of them Jamin. As they were backing out, my father rolled down the window, and with a wave of his arm to tell me goodbye, exclaimed: "Bye Honey! Stay a virgin!"
For all ears to hear. Including Jamin's.
I don't remember much after my well meaning father's final serenade. I swatted my arm and him and frowned severely, and then waved meekly while they turned their car to drive away, hoping no one had noticed. My mother punching him in the arm repeatedly as their tail lights faded in the distance.
I think after that, I melted into the sidewalk, as I would prefer never to be seen again.
Supa Blogga Supreme Mama
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Reader Comments (19)
As I laughed out loud while reading this Avery said, "what is it momma; what's so funny? Can I see it?!"
I'm going to wait a while to explain that one...
Does Jamin remember that? So funny!!
i am silently cracking up in my cubicle...that is hilarious!!!! i would have died of embarrassment!! aww...and memories of AU...priceless!
That is hilarious! I know that in the moment and probably still now, you were completely mortified. But I have to say, that I only hope that Jason and I can be that same way with our children. Okay, maybe not out in public for all to see or hear, but that is still great!
Jason and I love watching Whose Line. Although, some scenes have to skipped out of their crude humor. We have recently dvr-ed some episodes. I love improv and give total props to those that can be so creative!
Hilarious! I would have turned eight shades of red and wanted to melt into the sidewalk too! Can you even imagine that coming out of my dad's mouth? Do you think that has ever come out of his mouth? You have the best stories!!
Jamin can add that to the list of things to say to Emerson.
How funny! And horrific.
Are you referencing the ever beloved Deerfield Apts? There for a while it was ACSC central.... when I lived there we had FOUR in a unit!!! We used to try and throw rocks to see if we could hit the train (it was that close)as it passed!
aaaahahahahahahahahahaha. HILARIOUS!!! I can totally picture this scene! I love it!
hahahahahahahahahaha! that is the funniest thing i have read all day long and i totally hope jamin uses that exact same line on emerson when she is living in the "it" place with her cutie boyfriend living one floor above her.
Oh my word! Too funny! (And now I have that song stuck in my head. ha)
CRACK ME UP! HILAROUS!
Ahhh the Deerfield days! I miss the train! No. Not really!
That story is hilarious.
I miss Deerfield!!
Wow! Very embarrassing. I think I just melted into the side walk with you just thinking of how humiliated you must have been.
That's AWESOME! I've never met your dad, but I LOVE HIM!!!
Bwahaha! LOVE IT!
Ok, I'm kind of hurt that I was just lumped into the "a few other friends" category but whatever...haha. I'm pretty sure I was present for this scene, and if I wasn't then I remember it so well in its hilarity that it FEELS like I was there. Classic.
It also reminds me of your rehearsal dinner when Rushing told that story about the camping trip in front of everyone and you freaked out. Good times.
how hilarious is that?! so glad that has never come out of Dale's mouth in public. I would probably not speak to him again! Okay that's a lie, but I would still be mortified, as I'm sure you were. good times
Ha Ha!! I can totally see this! I can't wait to hear what you and Jamin do to your kids!
I did start blogging again! We will see if I can stick with it this time!
Funny... on the way home from church I asked Claire.. how was class.. she laughed and said " You know what
" Miss" Ashley told us tonight? Nooooo, I said but could tell by her expression that she thought it was a doozy.. "Miss" ( sorry, we are true southerners) told us about the time her Dad told her to remain a virgin as he was leaving her at college in front of EVERYONE!! Can you believe that MOM?
Thanks to your honesty.. that was the WHOLE conversation back to Millbrook was about girls and keeping yourself pure..a good 30 minutes ;-) We Moms rarely get such an impromptu time to talk about these issues..without an Mom that's gross.. Now Hearn on the other hand thought the conversation was " TMI" and thought we should have been in Egypt by the time we got home..
Thanks for adding that " realistic" touch to the girls.. they need that!