FA WA WA WA WA...WA WA WA WAAAA
The other day, I was partaking in a salad bar. {This, by the way, was at the same location as the Aiden-is-girl-mistaken-identity-incident.} Leaving Jamin to fend for himself with the kiddos at the table, I decided a bit o’ lettuce and carrot sticks would do my body good, when paired with pizza. {And then I slathered it with Thousand Island, thereby completely canceling myself out…but I’m totally off subject here}
Setting=Me. Salad bar. And of course, the eager woman behind me.
The all too overly snorting eager woman behind me.
Here we go. I think you all know where I’m headed with this one.
Rule no. 1 a-la-Ashley: Don’t touch me. If I hug you, it’s a big deal. You’re either my children, I haven’t seen you in a while, or you just had a come to Jesus moment. So if you’re a stranger, you best be out of my bidnass. I feel like holding a seminar for all the people who know me regarding personal space. We are all in a bubble. Do not interfere or pass the boundaries of the bubble…At least not this sacred bubble…
We don’t get out much. But this is my second over eager salad bar encounter. I feel targeted by the touchy-feelies out there. They get me in the lines. They know I’m trapped, and they move in for their attacks. Their merciless, repetitive attacks.
I was moving at a fair pace, when the woman behind me and her child decided to pull the one-container-behind-me-on-everything-I-was-selecting-in-said-bar-move. She was an over anxious salad creator. I move on to the olives, they were already finished with the carrots. And waiting. At multiple points, she actually brushed my elbow. Quite aggressively. Her eight year old anxiously peered onto my plate. Her face was level with it, and every now and then I was quite certain she was breathing on it. Spreading her little anthrax germs onto my perfectly sculpted (however hastily) salad confection.
At this point, I was forced into a delicate decision-making moment. I could either A. turn and scream, “GEEZ, LADY! Where’s the fire!!!???” or I could B. move even slower. This second option goes against my entire belief system, thereby risking more unwanted physical encounters. But I decided the second option was best…thereby creating more frustration for the invasive woman and her offensive offspring.
I finally created my salad but not without a few exasperated sighs from easily exciteable salad lady. I hope she forgot to add cheese.
And so it begins.
‘Tis the season for the unavoidable issue of Christmas shopping. Last year, I was so unfortunately pregnant, that I decided to load up on the goodies before the psychos hit. Call it my final bout with nesting. I even ventured with a friend to Atlanta, and in the great Mecca that is Ikea, found myself ready to go at it with a few over eager all too personal space invaders who felt it necessary to point sharp objects as my Emerson-inhabited tummy in a crowded elevator. And this year…I haven’t even started.
I can’t stand black Friday. I hate the crowds with their bullying, and I can’t help but laugh at all the desperados who get trampled every year on the five-o’clock news. Seriously…haven’t they figured it out yet that it happens? Every single year? And over what? The latest Bratz doll? Empty promises for great deals on a laptop? Parents are brutal. People are mean. And I just don’t want people’s nasty germ-infested retail-hording hands all over yours truly and my children. I know it will only get worse the older my children get, with their explicit Christmas requests…but for now I resolutely refuse to participate in the madness.
SO I want to know…
1. Who’s already decorated for Christmas? I think more people have done it than are willing to admit…fess up.
2. What’s the status of your Christmas shopping? If you’re finished…I am not sure I want to know…please phrase this gently, as I am feeling quite fragile with my retail phobias…
3. Do you get out for Black Friday? Do you find good deals…and…is it worth it??? Is it really worth the molestation....is it really worth...your SOUL???
Inquiring (germ –free personal issue) minds want to know…
Supa Blogga Supreme Mama
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Reader Comments (17)
I have similar feelings about personal space, and I'm feeling your pain on the salad bar crisis. There is always ONE of those people in line.
I went to the grocery this morning, completely forgetting it is the week of the annual Week of Food. So. Many. People. And they were all elbowing each other for the best frozen turkey. Ick.
And to answer your questions:
1. No, I am a strict Decorate After Thanksgiving girl. (I also only allow the listening of Christmas music after Turkey Day as well. And we save all Christmas movies for the 12 Days of Christmas. Wow, I am kind of sounding like Christmas Hitler right now...)
2. Heck, no, I have not even started Christmas shopping. We like to keep it simple, though, and I am a big fan of the internet. (The internet ALWAYS respects my personal space!)
3. I like sleep too much to even TRY hitting up Black Friday. But I watch the newscasts about it on the Today Show. Does that count?
1. I have always abided by the "never decorate until after thanksgiving rule," but this year I decided to be a rule breaker. Thanksgiving is later this year, and I have to go back to work December 3rd. I wanted to enjoy them while I was home with Addison, and I'm SO glad I did!
2. I have done NONE of my Christmas shopping. Boo. My fam has had 4 November birthdays that I've stressed over.
3. I don't usually do the Black Friday. When I worked retail in college, I hated this day. The past couple of years I've done most of my Christmas shopping online...
See my latest post for answers to questions #1 & 2.
3. I'm so with you on Black Friday. Mainly because I also hate crowds and the one time I actually had road rage (actually parking lot rage), was because a guy cut in front of me for a parking space that I was CLEARLY waiting for complete with flashing turn signal. We ended up in a verbal altercation in front of his (guessing here) 8-year-old son. I lost my mind for a second and told him he was a poor excuse for a gentleman and bad example for his son. He told me I wasn't very ladylike. My mother had to break up the arguement before I went all Kathy Bates a la Fried Green Tomatoes on his bunky. Jerk. Makes me mad just thinking about it. Anyway, I think deals get better the closer to Christmas you get and black Friday is just for crazy people. And I agree with Kristy...online is the way to go.
1. Not decorated, not even a festive soap.
2. No shopping done, just found out what people wanted.
3. I adhere to a strict rule of no shopping on black friday. I'll go to a movie though...
P.S. huge personal bubble fan, some are smaller than others and I think I know the neck-breather in the salad line. Also, stereotype: foreigners have tiny personal bubbles, at least that has been my experience.
We have already decorated for x-mas! I LOVE it! Jud would be fine with doing it the day before x-mas. HA! I would be fine decorating the day after Halloween!
No decorating yet.
Bought a few gifts (for Dirty Santa parties at the first of the month) But nothing for family members...
My husband and I like to call Black Friday "Buy Nothing Day" as we on purpose practice the boycott of this evil day!!!
We haven't decorated yet. I'm surprised Kenny hasn't even mentioned it. He normally likes to start the week of Thanksgiving. (I guess b/c he's off of work.) This year I am especially not anxious to get it all out b/c I do enough chasing of Braden already. I can't imagine adding breakables to the mix. He's right at that age...sigh...
Haven't started shopping either. We are spending most of our money going home this year, so I'm assuming the gifts won't be much at all! We do have some things in mind for the kids, although they have yet to be purchased.
I don't like to shop with hoards of people, but I have a friend coming in who might want to get out...we'll see.
I totally agree with you on the personal space! I find myself explaining this rule to my children when we are out in public. They don't seem to mind getting right beside the weird person in the store. I like to call them "space invaders". :) Cheesy, I know!
1. I plan on decorating this week. We are getting together with the fam. on Saturday, and I think that we are staying put on actual Turkey day. I am hoping that Jason will get down my decorations tonight and I will start setting things up tomorrow. The kids are really excited. We will wait for Jason to be here on Thursday to set up the tree.
2. I am finished shopping for the kids. I have been buying a little bit at a time for the past few months. Last year, Santa got ALL the credit in the little minds of our kiddos. This year, they each get one "big" thing from Santa and he will also take care of their stockings. Jason and I are only giving the kids a few gifts this year. We have so much stuff it is sickening and I don't want my kids growing up getting too much!
3. I am a Black Friday shopper. I have been for 3 years. I love looking at the ads and finding the best deals! I am not crazy about being in the crowds and will even walk out of a store if it is too crazy! Last year I shopped here and it was so much calmer than shopping in Nashville. I love scoring deals and I plan my gifts around the sale.
I so needed that laugh today. Thank you, thank you, thank you! BTW--How did you handle everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, wanting to touch your pregnant belly.
1. Only the things that were left out from last year.
2. Am making most of the gifts, have I started?? Heck, no! Decided to wait until after the knee surgery (tomorrow) so that I will be high as a kite, more likely to injure myself and in extreme pain. I'm smart like that.
3. Heh, heh... No thanks. I don't like people much anyway, much less when they are in a crazed mob.
I'm pretty sure we've talked about this last week but yes I LOVE black friday. I find everyone is in the best moods - and it helps offically switch over to Christmas. Of course, we are done decorating and I've even plugged the tree in a few times just to look at it, naturally the curtains are pulled way tight. I don't want the neigbors knowing I'm all pyscho in here.
Ok so Black Friday is a total tradition in my family. We are up and shopping by no later than 6:30. It always starts out fun and gets us all giddy until it hits about 10:30 when literally the entire world is out shopping (children included) and our energy levels start dying. Then we all just get in ill moods, eat a lot at the food court, and go home for a LONG nap!
Oh my goodness...remember that lady at the salad bar at Ruby Tuesday that one time? She was all up in your kool aid? That was ridiculous. And Ikea stresses me out too. I'm ok with hugging people I know, etc, but strangers...please back away.
1. I have a strict rule - no Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving! No Christmas music until the day after Thanksgiving, either. And those rules aren't because I'm a procrastinator - they are to help me enjoy Thanksgiving more. :-)
2. You know you can always count on me to start my shopping after you. :-) We don't have a lot to get this year (long story) so it's not a big deal anyway. Which is good, what with my procrastination & all.
3. Black Friday is from the devil. That's why it's called Black. Black = Evil. Too many folks, too many lines. I am convinced that I can find good deals outside of that wretched day. And if I can't, I'll gladly pay more to avoid the crazies. :-)
!. The house is decorated and I even had Corey putting the lights up outside tonight. Lots of people that live around us have already decorated so I didn't feel bad lighting our house up too.
2. I am about half way done with my shopping. I still have to buy for those impossible people that really don't need anything but still require a gift. Hopefully they will give me some ideas soon!
3. We shopped Black Friday last year and loved it. It wasn't too crazy (we didn't have kids with us) and we really scored some awesome deals. Digital camera for grandparents and 1/2 off toys for the endless list of kid's we buy for in our family. I love saving money!
Laura-no! it was a huge fat dude in sweats! I wanted to beat him down. a. for breathing on me, b, for touching me, and c. for wearing sweats in public...
I love shopping, but am not a big fan of people. That sounds harsh, but I think you know what I mean. I will get so mad at crowded places that I feel like steam is about to start coming out of my ears. Not to mention throwing two kids into the mix. Linens-n-things going out of business sale = me going insane trying to push a buggy through their tiny little aisles with two little ones while looking for a birthday present for my dad. Not a good time for me.
But, anyways, to answer one of of the three, I actually have done all of my Christmas shopping except for one person, my dad (a.k.a. the hardest person ever to shop for). This is odd for me to be done so early, but I took my mom's advice. She read in Real Simple that November was the best time to buy toys, and let me tell you that I think they're right. I think every weekend in Nov. Toys R Us had a big sale and I ended up saving like $35 on toys alone, which was really good compared to what I actually spent. Sorry, I know that doesn't really help you much now....maybe next year?
Haha...I just now read your comment...you're right - now I remember it was a fat due in sweats! Gross.
Don't hate me...I swear I'm usually not this over-zealous about Christmas. It was a fluke this year. Usually I'm running around on Christmas Eve at whatever stores stay open the latest picking up a crappy Magic 8 Ball for my cousin's sister once removed AND making coupon books for free massages, car washes, & sexual favors for my husband. Poor guy always gets the last-minute shaft. I also have been known to ship Christmas presents to our MT and CO relatives after the holidays...hey, better late than never says I!