Since we moved into our home two years ago, the experience has been a sheer critter terror a-la-swiss family robinson. I won't even check out how many entries I have written on snakes, rabbits, squirrels, spiders, ear wigs, mice, roaches, giant things that fly into our back door and flit spastically/moth/batlike around the room while I run about screaming after I measured it with my foot, deer, owls, dead birds, mice, mice, did I mention mice? I'm done. With all the construction around us, I am so SICK of having these animals in our home, I think I'm ready to write Lowder New Homes a choice letter. A very choice letter. They should pay for our pest control. I'm surprised I haven't found a coyote in my washing machine.
The latest in this never ending stream of dramas is that our home has become an abode for Lady bugs. This may not sound like a biggie at first, but these things are evil. They swoop from the ceiling at our heads. They climb into our lights and die, so I have to clean them out later. And by abode, I mean the latest hot spot for these little guys, as in a club. A night club. A gentlemen' s night club, because all I'm seeing around here are the males. Perhaps with one female doing a pole dance on a sewing needle I left out, in the center. I hope she got some sweet tips. Correction. I just googled that, and received a mixed plethora of answers. Who has the spots? The internet world will never know. I thought maybe I had a gay club for lady bugs on the ceiling of my kitchen. Each day, I find a new swarm of them has collapsed in my window sill, leaving this cruel cruel world behind. Gross.
Our pest control guy came earlier this week, and when I questioned him about our latest situation, he said that Auburn University had released them. At first I looked at him crookedly, and then decided he was an Alabama fan with some lame joke (hey, he looked like the type.) He avidly defended himself and his true allegiance to a fabulous school, despite their dwindling football record. (Hey, that's what makes a true fan, anyway, right? Loving Auburn no matter what...digression....) and he said that Auburn University released the little guys into the air to save the pecan trees of the south. This year, the pecan trees are bearing fruit for their second year in a row. The pests that destroy the pecans are quite rampant this year. Ladybugs eat the pests. We have a giant pecan tree in our back yard. The things you learn from your pest control guy. Sigh.
When he told me this, I got a little excited. It all made sense, this baffling puzzle I'd been dealing with the last few weeks. "I learn new things from you every time you come!" I said, excitedly.
He responded with an "Okkkkaaaaaaaayyyyyy," and then awkwardly scribbled on his notepad. You know, the kind of answer you get in Jr. High when you proclaim your undying affection to your PE square dance partner only to be smacked down with that simple phrase. Just like the lady bugs. I was killing my friends, and didn't even know. Fly lady bugs. Fly.
I've inhaled way too much stain whilst working on this buffet the last few days.
In the meantime, I now hear the latest mouse caught in the wall of our den. I can't wait for the entire house to begin smelling like corroded garbage due to the rotting carcass of a disgusting rodent for a month when it finally dies! I'm about to go postal (sorry Roxy) with a jackhammer until I can find the little guy and sic Chloe on him. Oh the great satisfaction that would bring...Until the aftermath...
Hope you all have a pest free day!